The Tail and the Tape
by clagjanet
Summary: This started life as a one-off response to a FB writing challenge and has now turned into a multi-chapter tale where each chapter responds to a different FB challenge (right down to the word count). Like any good mouse, it veered off in a completely different direction than I thought it was going when the chase started, but I've finally managed to capture it for display here.
1. The Tail and the Tape

"So, you got any more brilliant ideas?"

Amanda slowly put down rolled-up newspaper she was wielding and looked over at where Lee was sitting on the back of the office couch, feet resting on the cushions.

"Well, that might have worked if I'd had any help. Did you see where it went?"

"Do you seriously think I would still be up here if I knew where it went?"

"I can't believe you're still up there at all."

"Look, you know how I feel about them and I have saved you from way worse things. And _you're_ not wearing trousers."

"Excuse me? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because it's not going to run up your legs."

Amanda couldn't hold it in anymore, she leaned back against her desk, shrieking with laughter. 'You think it's going to run up your trouser leg? This isn't a cartoon, you know!"

"It could happen and I'm not taking any chances. You know they freak me out."

"Well, trouser legs aside, I feel like I'm the one wearing the pants in this marriage right now."

In the hallway, just outside the open doorway, Billy and Francine came to a dead stop. Their approach had been drowned out by Amanda laughing. Francine's eyes were round as she clutched his arm and looked up at him, silently mouthing "Marriage?" Billy was obviously having trouble not laughing out loud as he held a finger to his lips.

"Look – you knew at least two things when you married me: no completely dark rooms and no rats."

"Lee it wasn't a rat! It was a tiny little mouse. It's probably just gotten in through the air vents or something. These older buildings have all sorts of ways for them to get in."

"Don't say that! And you don't know it was only a mouse – it could be a baby rat. And if we don't get rid of it, it will bring back its giant rat parents!"

Amanda was still chuckling as she reached into the desk drawer and pulled out some elastics bands. She tossed them to Lee, saying "Okay then, use these around your ankles and then you can hop down from there and help me move furniture until we find it."

She looked up to find Lee staring at her with something approaching real panic. "You're not kidding, are you? You are really not coming down from there?"

"You said 'For better and for worse' and this is my 'worse'," he answered. "Now where do you think the little bugger went?"

Sighing, Amanda walked into the vault and returned with a large roll of duct one end to the wall, she unrolled it across the floor, sticky side up until she reached the far side of the room. "I hope you're willing to do this for me the next time we get squirrels in the attic," she said jokingly

"What? No way! Squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails!"

Amanda looked over at his face, and instantly felt guilty for teasing him. She walked over and rested her hand on his cheek. "I was kidding. Okay, no more rat jokes." As she leaned in to give him a kiss, she saw his eyes go wide and he lost all the colour in his face. Whirling around to follow his gaze, she saw the mouse scurrying across the middle of the room, until it got stuck to the duct tape ribbon. She leapt forward to grab the wastepaper basket and slam it down on top of it, with a cry of triumph, while Lee yelled encouragement from his perch.

Out in the corridor, under cover of the attack, Billy and Francine backed up towards the landing at the end of the hall and pulled the door gently closed behind them. Mrs. Marston looked up at them over her shoulder in confusion as they dissolved into laughter.

"What are you going to do, Billy?" asked Francine as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Oh, I'm going to make them sweat."

"You're going to let me help, right?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way," chuckled Billy. He glanced down in time to see Mrs. Marston carefully turning away with a blank expression. "Mavis Marston! What exactly do you know?"

"I know nothing, William."

He marched down the stairs and walked around in front of her desk, where he stood, arms crossed and a stern expression. Mavis never blinked, her mask only barely broken by the tiniest of smiles that flitted across her face. Francine followed more slowly, uncertain what was going on between the old friends.

"Okay Sergeant Schultz, how long?" he asked.

"How long about what exactly?"

"How long have they been married?" Billy continued to glare at her while Francine watched the showdown, slack-jawed. "Mavis, you know perfectly well I've known about them since at least that Stemwinder fiasco because we talked about it. So spill – how long?"

Mavis studied his face for a moment before sighing and leaning back in her chair. "I'm only telling you this to keep them out of trouble." She glanced up at Francine and then back to Billy "February."

"February? That was almost eight months ago!" Billy exploded. "And you never said anything? Didn't you think I should know that? How can they not get into trouble?"

"California?" asked Francine, not taking her eyes off Mavis.

"Honeymoon."

"Oh, damn it." Both women turned to look at Billy as he sighed."That takes the fun out of turning the screws on them."

They all looked up as the door at the top of the landing opened and Amanda appeared, carrying the waste basket with a file folder over the top of it and humming the theme from the 'Mickey Mouse Club'. She stopped dead as she noticed the trio all staring up at her, then distracted by the scrabbling sound in the basket, she continued down the stairs and walked towards the front door.

"I'm just getting rid of an unauthorized visitor" she said as she walked by the strangely silent group. Stepping out onto the doorstep, she carefully released the mouse into the flower bed and walked back inside.

"Rat patrol, Amanda?" asked Francine, unable to resist it any longer

"No, just a mouse."

"Is that what you and Lee get up to all day? Playing cat and mouse?"

Amanda paused on her way back to the staircase and looked back at her, suddenly on alert. Billy looked down quickly but she could see the grin starting to appear on his face and it occurred to Amanda that Francine was looking very much like the cat who'd got the cream. Deciding silence was the best response, she walked slowly back upstairs, flushing slightly but not looking back at them.

As she disappeared into the upper hallway, Francine turned to Billy and said in a satisfied tone, "Oh no, I think it's still going to be fun."


	2. Mickey and Rocky

Amanda rolled her eyes at Lee and muttered under her breath, "Oh no, here we go again." Lee looked up and followed the direction of her gaze across the bullpen. Francine was weaving her way towards them, a smile on her lips that didn't bode well.

"What is up with that woman lately?" Lee answered her.

"I don't know. Does she think we're dating again?" Amanda suggested thoughtfully.

Lee couldn't help grinning at his wife. "I'd be telling the truth if I told her we weren't."

"No, even bringing it up just gives her ammunition. I just don't understand why she suddenly cares."

Lee stood up as Francine entered Billy's office and offered her the chair he'd been sitting in. As he went to lean against the window, she greeted them with bright eyes. "Morning Mickey, morning, Rocky."

Lee met Amanda's glance seeing his own confused expression reflected on her face. They all looked up as Billy came in, carrying a printout which he handed to Lee. Lee studied it for a moment, giving a low whistle and looking up with a grimace of concern.

"Is it credible intelligence?" he asked, passing it to Francine who moved closer to Amanda so they could read it together.

"Credible enough for Smyth to want at least two teams on it."

Francine looked up and smiled evilly. "So Darren and Samantha and who else?"

"What's our cover going to be?" asked Amanda, ignoring her.

Billy looked at her gratefully and gestured towards the paper she was holding. "I don't know what would work since I've only seen this much of the story yet. You and Lee take the lead on this one - go do the research now and come back this afternoon with suggestions for any team members you want and a list of everything you think you'll need."

"Yes, Sir," Amanda got to her feet and walked out deep in thought already.

Haven't you forgotten something, Speedy?" called Francine after her. Amanda turned to look at her questioningly. Francine grinned at Lee who hadn't moved from his spot against the window yet. "Well go on, Slowpoke, go catch up! Andale, andale, arriba, arriba!"

Lee stared at her, before looking at Billy to see if he understood what was going on. Billy had every appearance of a man absorbed in the paperwork on his desk, but Lee still got the feeling he knew what Francine was up to. He pushed himself upright slowly and turned to follow Amanda across the bullpen.

Billy waited until they were out of earshot before beginning to laugh. "They're going to figure it out eventually," he finally managed to say, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe his streaming eyes.

Francine had leaned back in the chair to watch her friends leave. As they watched, Lee's hand dropped to Amanda's back out of habit to guide her through the desks.

"I don't know - they are being remarkably dense," she laughed. "I spent all yesterday calling them Rob and Laura after Lee fell over that garbage can chasing Dmitri and they still didn't figure it out."

Billy couldn't help the guffaw that burst out of him, so loud that Lee turned back from the bullpen doors to look at him.

"I'd still like to know why they're keeping it a secret. That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. A year ago, he was studying the suburban real estate section of the paper, so they must have been planning it then, but then what happened?"

Francine tilted her head and looked at him thoughtfully. "As long ago as that? They were all Elizabeth and Darcy when TP was having that trouble, telling me they'd broken up…" Her voice drifted off and suddenly her gaze sharpened. "They were trying to throw us off the scent even then. I am so going to enjoy busting them."

"You're going to keep it between us, aren't you?" he asked worriedly. "They must have a good reason not to have told anyone."

"Of course I am since I actually think they're adorable together, but I still want to know why they didn't tell us."

Billy sighed. "Well, if you figure out Boris and Natasha, let me know."

Francine couldn't help laughing. "I've been calling them Mickey and Rocky for days – they haven't figured that out yet either."

"Mickey and Rocky?"

"Mouse and Squirrel."

Heads turned in the bullpen at the bellow of laughter that erupted from Billy's office.

* * *

Upstairs in the lobby, the objects of that laughter were exiting the elevator, deep in conversation about the mission.

"There's a lot more possibilities for covers if we have four of us. Do you think it's better to go in as two couples or keep one pair separate?" Amanda was asking.

"Let's send Francine in as a couple with Beaman. It'll give me something to bug her about for a while instead of the other way around," grumbled Lee.

They both turned at the unladylike snort that came from Mrs. Marston's desk. Lee and Amanda exchanged looks and immediately walked to her desk, Amanda pulling up the chair that rested against the wall, while Lee dragged one from across the lobby to sit directly in front of her.

Mrs. Marston attempted to look stern. "Mr. Stetson? Mrs. Stetson?" Her lips twitched and both agents grinned back at her.

"Okay, Mrs. Marston, spill it," smiled Amanda.

"Spill it? How delightfully colloquial," said Mrs. Marston mildly. "Is that something your boys taught you?"

"Yes," chuckled Amanda. "And having children has also taught me to spot when someone knows something, so tell us what you know about the bee Francine has in her bonnet."

"Just Ms. Desmond?"

"No, Billy too," said Lee unexpectedly. "But why?"

"Mice."

"Mice?"

"Well, one mouse. That day you caught the mouse upstairs?" Amanda nodded, while Lee shuddered. "They'd gone upstairs and I don't know what they overheard, but when they came down, they knew about you."

There was a long silence while Lee and Amanda thought back and then realization dawned on their faces at the same time. "For better or worse, and this is my worse," muttered Lee as Amanda nodded. They both sat back in their chairs, looking guilty.

"Were they upset?" asked Amanda quietly.

"Only that you hadn't told them." Mavis watched both of them sag further and added, "I should warn you - Billy figured out I knew and made me tell him how long."

"Oh God," Lee ran a hand over his face.

"No wonder they're bugging us," said Amanda glumly. "And we can't even claim not to deserve it."

"And why exactly haven't you told them?" asked Mavis mildly.

"It wasn't supposed to go on this long, honestly, but after California, we couldn't just come out and tell my family and since we couldn't tell them, it didn't seem right to tell anyone else, and then our cases just kept getting in the way."

"And the longer it went on, the harder it's been to tell them."

"Until they found out on their own," said Mavis pointedly.

"Yeah," sighed Amanda. "At least now we know why we were Speedy and Slowpoke this morning."

"And Darren and Samantha."

"Ozzie and Harriet."

"Tom and Jerry." They both turned to look at Mrs. Marston at this contribution. "She hasn't used that one in front of you yet? Must be saving it up."

"That one doesn't even work," said Amanda glumly. "Apparently we've been the mouse and she's been the cat for the last two weeks."

"Yeah, but now that we know what she's up to, we can build a better mousetrap," grinned Lee, suddenly cheerful at the idea of toying with Francine in revenge.

"Do mice build mousetraps?" asked Mrs. Marston.

"I suppose traps built by mice would be mousetraps," said Amanda momentarily diverted. "They could build stuff – their paws are like little hands."

"Do you think they could use their tails the way monkeys do?" Mrs. Marston was enjoying watching Lee squirm through the conversation.

"Can we _please_ stop talking about mice and their tiny hands and tails?" begged Lee in a pained tone. The two women exchanged small smiles as he closed his eyes, looking pale.

"Okay then Stuart Little, what did you have in mind?"

"Let's go have a look at the file and see if we can't kill two birds with one stone."

* * *

"Okay Scarecrow, Amanda, what have you come up with?"

Amanda leaned forward and laid the briefing file in front of Billy. "We ran with a couple of ideas, but we think the first option listed is the best."

Billy flipped open the file and read for a few minutes. Finally he leaned back and stared up at them, eyes narrowed.

"All right, walk me though it."

Amanda took the lead since she had put together the plan. "Efraim Beaman is an excellent analyst, Sir. It makes sense to have him in place on site to help interpret any data. If we set him up as a hotel guest, he'd be virtually invisible, and so would the other team member set up as hotel staff."

"I understand that part. But what about the other team, the society couple?"

"Well, Sir, we know that Decker is a people collector – if he thinks he has an "in" with a possible Washington power couple, he'll find it irresistible to try and befriend them. And with the election coming up next year, he'll be doing his best to make friends with anyone who might be friends with the next President."

"And you think he'll buy you two as a power couple?"

"Oh no, Mr. Melrose! I'm going in as hotel staff. Lee and Francine will be going in as the couple."

Amanda and Lee carefully schooled their expressions to give nothing away as Billy's eyes widened and Francine's jaw dropped.

"I'm not as good at those society jobs as Francine and our files say Decker has a thing for blondes – and it never seems to go well when she tries to work in the service industry, does it?"

Billy couldn't hold back the yelp of laughter, but finally got himself back under control. "But why are you two working separately? You're my strongest team when you work together."

"Well, that's the thing, Sir. We've realized lately that perhaps it's better if we work separately from now on. Lee was just explaining to me that he thinks our relationship is getting stale."

Lee chimed in, sounding annoyed, "Our _working_ relationship. All I said was that we should step away from each other and give some thought to our partnership."

"What you _said_ was we should divorce our work lives from our personal lives." Amanda was biting her lip by now, but only Lee realized it was to keep from laughing at the appalled expressions on Billy and Francine's faces.

"Well, maybe if you would stop taking constructive criticism so personally-." Lee stopped and stared at his feet, knowing he wasn't going to be able to keep this up without laughing as well.

"Fine," said Billy finally. "If you're sure that's the best way forward, go set it up and bring me the paperwork to sign off on."

The three agents stood up and as Francine and Amanda began to leave through the door Lee was holding open, Billy suddenly barked, "Not you Scarecrow. I want to talk to you." Amanda paused and looked up to meet Lee's eyes. Busy staring down at his desk, Billy missed their wordless exchange of smiles.

With a wink, Lee closed the door after the two women and sat down in one of the chairs in front of Billy's desk.

"Lee, you'll probably try and tell me this is none of my business, but damn it, your partnership with Amanda _is_ my business and if you two are having problems-." He stopped as Lee reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a sheaf of papers and laid them on the desk. "Oh my God, you're not resigning, are you?"

Lee couldn't hide the grin anymore. "No, Billy, neither of us are resigning and we're not breaking up our partnership. This is the paperwork you've been expecting for Personnel to adjust our files – to, well, reflect our two-salary hike."

Billy stared at him for a moment, then reached out to pick up the paperwork and unfolded it slowly as if he was still expecting it to be bad news. The smile spread across his face as he read and he looked up at Lee, eyes twinkling. "You know, part of me didn't really believe you'd done it, even after I heard you say it myself." He leaned back, still chuckling. "So why didn't you tell me until now?"

Lee spread his hands apologetically. "We were still muddling through how to make this work – work and personal life – and how to keep the family safe. After that run on Khai's son last year – well, that kind of put the brakes on bringing on the rice as Edna would say."

"Didn't bring it to a complete stop though," said Billy, lips twitching.

"No, it didn't," Lee smiled at his friend before turning serious again. "And then when Amanda got – injured – there never seemed to be a good time to come out and admit it. Believe me, we wanted to tell you, but every time it started to seem like we could, Dr. Smyth would appear like an evil genie and make it impossible. That little run-in Francine and I had with Sergei was the last straw – how much worse would that have been if Smyth had known Amanda and I were personally involved? It just seemed better to keep it quiet – until we realized you'd found out on your own. We're really sorry it came out that way."

"So what was that whole little act just now? Are you really planning to team with Francine on this?"

"Oh yeah – Amanda wasn't kidding when she said Decker has a thing for blondes." He flashed a grin at Billy. "But Mr. Templeton here is a philanderer with a thing for brunette hotel staff." His grin broadened as Billy fell into helpless laughter.

"And we'll get Decker I promise, but if we can mess with Francine a tiny bit like she's been messing with us the last little while…" He cocked an eyebrow at Billy whose ready smile started to spread further. "Come on, if the last year has proved anything, it's that we can work together and lie through our teeth at the same time."

"That's not exactly something to be proud of, Scarecrow, but okay," Billy waved a hand at him. "Enjoy yourself."

Lee had stood up and paused, hand on the door handle. "A five-star resort on someone else's dime, bugging Francine, saving the world – what's not to enjoy?"

"And Lee? Tell your wife I said congratulations."

For the second time that day, heads turned as Billy's laughter followed Scarecrow out of the office.


	3. Huff n Stuff

It was quite possible that steam was actually going to start coming out of Francine's ears at any moment. As it was, Lee was having difficulty keeping a straight face the madder she got, except he knew he was going to pay dearly for this later. When he and Amanda had sketched out their plan to lure Decker into implicating himself, it had always been the intention to fool him into thinking he could tempt a Washington socialite into a position where he'd be able to blackmail her later. Francine knew her role was to play the unhappy wife who was being cheated on and who would supposedly fall into Decker's trap, but her current fury had nothing to do with that.

 _Almost nothing_ , Lee chuckled to himself. They were both aware that Decker had their room under audio surveillance – Beaman and Amanda had confirmed it earlier, along with planting their own bugs for safety – but the yelling Francine was doing right now was not acting. In keeping with their plan to tease Francine into thinking he and Amanda were on the verge of divorce, he had made an overly familiar pass at her the moment they'd entered the room and Francine was not happy about it. So far she was managing to keep her words in character to a cuckolded wife, but they both knew what she was really saying.

"I cannot believe you think I'd do that! I thought we were here for your "work" and now I find out you're here because you want to fool around, you complete and unutterable bas-"

"Francine, Darling," Lee interrupted her before she could finish that thought. "You must know my feelings for you have never changed."

The sarcasm in her voice ratcheted up. "Obviously, I _must_ know that the way I've watched you cat around for the last seven years, but you know what? I actually thought you'd changed! I have actually defended you to people who tried to tell me a leopard doesn't change its spots! And then, right in front of me, you're trying to cheat on your wife right under her nose!"

"I appreciate the loyalty you've always shown me, even when I didn't deserve it but-"

"There are no 'buts' here Lee! I thought I knew you, but I had no idea what you were really like!"

That was the moment when he knew the joke had gone too far. To his horror, she began gulping back tears.

"Francine! Stop – please don't cry -I didn't mean it to get this far – I didn't think you'd be this upset after all the jokes you've made over the years. It's not what you think – I was kidding! I'm sorry!" He was babbling now, but all she saw was him staying in mission character and apparently trying to cover his tracks.

"Kidding? KIDDING? In what possible way did you think this was something I would find funny? No, don't touch me!" She had moved away from him the moment he'd walked towards her holding out a hand in apology. "I just don't even want to talk to you right now! And if you think I'm staying in here with you tonight, you are sadly mistaken! And I don't care what it makes anyone think!"

Before he could say another word, she had whirled to run out of the room. He stood there stunned for a moment and then crossed to the telephone to call Beaman's room. Amanda picked up before the first ring had even finished.

"Well, that went south in a hurry, didn't it," she greeted him.

"Yeah, she's more upset than I've ever seen her. I thought cheating on your wife was supposed to be fun."

"I'll go find her. You go keep an eye on Decker." Amanda hung up, leaving Lee staring down the phone line guiltily.

* * *

It had all been quite easy to set up really. Lee's 'family' member and resort manager, Clint, had agreed to bring Amanda in as part of the concierge staff, which gave her access to pretty much everywhere without anyone looking twice. Beaman had been set up in a room by himself and was quite content to ignore all the lures of life in a resort and stay glued to his beloved computer and surveillance equipment. Francine had been thrilled by the wardrobe, even if she was still off-kilter from this weird twist in agent pairings.

Amanda had met Lee and Francine on their way to dinner the first night. Sticking her hands in her pockets to keep herself from fixing his bow tie, she'd turned to study Francine in her dark rose gown, draped with enough diamonds to fill King Solomon's mines. "Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Templeton, you guys look amazing – we should have made your cover name Carrington instead."

"Hardly fitting Amanda, since he'd married his secretary and I'm supposed to be like local royalty."

Amanda hid her smile at this unconscious admission that Francine watched trashy TV with the best of them. "True, but he has that great deep voice. He could ask me to do some pretty much any crazy thing with that voice and I'd do it."

"If only I had a voice like that, then maybe you'd stay in the car when I told you to." The tone was one of exasperation but the wink he gave her behind Francine's back was pure mischief.

Amanda pretended to look annoyed, a task made more difficult by the worried look Francine was giving her. "Well, he's at least he's always polite with his requests – even with his _ex_ -wife." She wondered if she'd gone a step too far when Francine's eyes widened like saucers.

"Well, that just makes him sound like a dull dog," replied Lee, who couldn't see the effect their conversation was having on their friend from his angle. "All work and no play makes anyone dull though, so how about you and me get this show on the road, Mrs. Templeton?" He'd wrapped an arm around Francine's waist and started to guide her down the corridor towards the main dining room.

"Don't have too much fun," she'd called after them, hoping Lee would take the hint to tone down the teasing before it backfired.

* * *

In fact, checking in with Efraim listening to their dinner conversation with the Deckers, it was obvious Lee was all business when it came to mission work. He'd flirted outrageously with Decker's wife, but Francine had been matching him point for point, making it look entirely too much like two people trying to make the other one jealous.

"They're good together," remarked Efraim absentmindedly. "But sometimes they sound like me and my sister at the dinner table."

Amanda couldn't hold in the chuckle. "You're right - and here I thought I'd get away from squabbling kids this week. Well, guess it's time to go make my pass through the room and see if they need anything from the overly helpful hotel staff."

Watching her work her away across the dining room towards them, Lee was struck again at just how good Amanda was at this type of cover. In the day and a half they'd been there, she had actually learned the names of most of the guests and all of the staff and she looked like she'd been working there forever.

"Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Decker, Mr. and Mrs. Templeton. Just thought I'd come by and make sure everything been satisfactory."

"Everything's been fantastic so far, thanks," answered Lee readily, laying one hand over Francine's, then gripping it when she tried to slide it out from under his. All three of them noticed how interested Decker was in that little bit of apparent power play. "But if I needed anything special later, where would I find you?"

"I'm sure you won't be needing me," Amanda replied icily, "but if you do just ask any member of staff to contact me."

Lee's eyes followed her as she left until he brought his attention back to the table and found Decker staring at him appraisingly. _Gotcha_ he thought. "Want to dance, Darling?" he asked Francine, pulling her to her feet.

Once they were safely on the dance floor, Francine began hissing at him. "What the hell is going on with you and your partner? Has she forgotten you're _supposed_ to be hitting on women in front of me? Why isn't she playing along?"

"There's nothing going on between us right now. Don't worry about it – I've already had this discussion with Billy about being professional despite our - whatever."

Francine went silent, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully.

Lee heaved a deep fake sigh. "Look, whatever disagreements Amanda and I might be having, that doesn't mean we can't have a good time, right? So come on, cheer up!" He pulled her closer, feeling her tense and smiling to himself over her head. "Just like old times, right Desmond?" A grunt of annoyance was the only response he got.

He had no idea just how much they'd gotten under her skin until they got back to the room and he'd given into the temptation to slap her on the butt and make a particularly filthy suggestion as they walked in the room, but it wasn't too many minutes after that that he had found himself alone, completely befuddled and staring at the phone in his hand wondering when it had all gotten less funny.

* * *

Amanda found Francine sitting at the bar, nursing a drink.

"Mrs. Templeton, I'm so glad I found you," she began, wincing a bit when Francine looked at her guiltily. "I think we've found that earring you lost earlier, if you'd like to come to my office and identify it." She took the glass out of Francine's hand and placed it behind the bar. "Frank, look after that for me, will you?"

Francine followed her like a chastened puppy out of the bar and out onto the patio area by the pool. Despite how late it was in the year, it was still mild enough for the two of them to sit quietly without jackets.

"Francine," began Amanda finally, "We owe you an apology."

Francine turned to look at her with a troubled expression. "What are you talking about? You haven't done anything. It's Lee that-"

"No it's not. It's both of us. We thought we could have some fun on this job but now it's messing with it." She paused and weighed her next words. "Do you want to know why we chose the name Templeton for this cover?"

Francine cocked her head, confused by the apparent change in subject.

"I chose it because I always loved 'Charlotte's Web' growing up."

Francine nodded and then suddenly a look of comprehension went across her face. "You named Lee Templeton because you think he's a rat? I didn't realize you knew!"

"No, no, no – _we_ named him Templeton because we thought it would be funny to mess with you with a mouse name the way you've been messing with us the last few weeks. And just now, in your room, it got a lot less funny."

Francine closed her eyes with a pained expression. "You heard all that?"

"Yes – and we're really sorry."

"You keep saying 'we'," said Francine finally. "Like you know all about it."

"Yes, I do because it's both of our faults you're so upset right now. He really did mean it when he said he was teasing. You guys are such old friends, he really did think you'd see the funny side of it and it's my fault for letting him get it so out of hand. But now we really need you to stop being mad at us about it until after we can get everything we need out of Decker."

"You're not really breaking up? I can't handle it if you two are breaking up."

Amanda had to laugh at that. "Wow, you've changed your tune, haven't you?" She slung her arm around Francine's shoulders. "No, we're not breaking up. Despite his _extremely_ childish behaviour tonight, I am still ridiculously in love with my husband." She turned her head at the choke of laughter that caused and found her friend staring back at her, amusement written all over her face. Francine leaned back and punched her hard in the arm.

"Your husband! I still can't believe you jerks didn't tell me you were married! I never got to throw him a bachelor party or throw confetti or tie tin cans to the back of that damn car."

Amanda sighed. "It wasn't for not wanting to, believe me. And we'll take you to Ned's and tell you the whole sordid story as soon as we all get home, alright? But for now, do you think you could go back to playing miserable wife for a few days?"

Francine began to giggle again. "I guess I can since you get to play miserable wife the rest of the time."

"Well, when I get to be his wife, it's not too miserable, but that's a discussion for another day as well." She stood up and Francine followed suit. "Let's go find our husband, Mrs. Templeton."

* * *

Lee was perched on the end of one of the beds in Efraim's room, nursing a Scotch when the two of them arrived. He stood up and eyed Francine warily, very much as if he thought she might bite.

"Hi," he said finally. "I'm sorry," he added.

Francine gave him her best thousand-yard stare for a few seconds before finally saying, "Yeah, your wife said you were."

Lee couldn't help the grin when she said the words "your wife" and suddenly all three of them were laughing. Efraim looked up from the monitor in confusion, shook his head once he realized there was some joke going on he didn't get, and went back to his surveillance.

"Truce?" asked Lee finally, holding his hand out to Francine.

"Truce," she answered, taking it and pulling him for a brief hug. "But when we get home, you and Ethel have a lot of 'splainin' to do. You owe me dinner."

"Fair enough. How about you come for Sunday dinner with my in-laws?"

That did it – Francine actually had to sit down to breathe from laughing so hard.


	4. Body of Evidence

"What else can happen?" asked Amanda in exasperation, kicking the flat tire on the Agency car. "All I want to do is go home, you stupid machine."

It had been a pretty good day up until now. Decker had walked neatly into their trap and Lee hadn't even needed to hit anyone for once. Even Billy had been impressed when he'd arrived to pick Decker up and he was bruise-free. Lee and Efraim had packed up the computer equipment and headed back to D.C. while Amanda and Francine had stayed behind to wrap up witness statements. Much to the amusement of Billy and Francine, Lee had pulled Amanda in for a quick kiss on the lips before getting in the van with Efraim. "My car's at the apartment so I'll get Beaman to drop me at home – see you there when you're done."

"That is going to take some getting used to," Francine had remarked as they'd watched them drive away. "I'm going to miss watching you two leap to opposite corners of the room every time I walk in the Q Bureau."

"Don't worry, we'll still do it by sheer force of habit. And because we try to behave at work actually – or at least I do."

"Is it as much like being married to a golden retriever puppy as it looks?"

Amanda hadn't been able to hold in the whoop of laughter at the image. "It has its moments, I can't deny it."

They were still laughing when they turned back to the hotel and went inside to finish the wrap-up, but now, stuck by the side of the road, it seemed like nothing was going to go right that day after all.

"Let me call the Agency and get a tow truck out here."

"Don't be silly Francine, I'm perfectly capable of changing a tire. Just help me get the stuff out of the trunk so we can get at the spare."

To Francine's obvious amazement, she really did know how to change a flat and they were back on the road with only a half-hour delay.

"I forget sometimes how actually handy you are to have around, Little Miss Housewife," said Francine when they were underway again.

"Well, we can't all have your skills. You keep shooting out the tires and I'll keep changing them," replied Amanda with a grin. It was so relaxing to have finally reached this stage with Francine where they could both enjoy the verbal sparring and laugh with each other openly.

"You know, we don't both need to go back to the office with all this stuff. Do you want me to drop you at Lee's on the way?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I can get off all the tire changing grime and then he can drive me home. Although I should probably let him know we've been delayed – let me call and make sure he's there before you leave me stranded – I don't have my apartment keys with me." She picked up the car phone and dialled the apartment, then the phone in the 'Vette without getting an answer on either. "I guess he's still at the office – I'm surprised it's taken them this long – I'd have thought he'd be home by now."

"Well, the apartment's on the way so we'll check there and if there's no sign of him, I can take you home after we dump the paperwork."

"Thanks, that would be great."

They could sense the activity in the neighbourhood blocks before they got there – something in their agent training made them aware that there was something off in the crowds and the traffic, but it was still a shock to turn the corner onto Lee's street and find it filled with emergency vehicles. They were both out of the car and running towards the chaos almost before Francine could turn the ignition off. The cop at the police line had done his best to stop them, but had stepped back when faced with a pair of badges and the identical expressions on their faces.

There was nothing left of the Corvette and very little left of anything in a 200 foot radius of it. All the windows on the block had been shattered and the fire engines from two different stations were just starting to wrap up hoses except for the ones still trained on hotspots. There were agents they recognized as they ran towards it, including the ones who were carefully measuring out the area between the burned out wreckage and the giant pool of blood on the sidewalk. They skittered to a stop in unison, breathing heavily and Amanda looked around wildly until she saw Billy, who hadn't noticed them approaching. She called his name and when he turned at the sound of her voice and she saw his expression, everything went black.

* * *

They walked into the Medical Examiner's office together, both of them with carefully blank expressions, but his long tenure in this job told him that they were holding on by a thread.

"Billy Melrose sent us. We're here to try and identify…"

"The car bomb victim. Yes I've been expecting you." He paused, trying to gauge what he should do next. "Um, look, the thing is, this isn't going to be an easy identification. When the bomb went off, they must have been partially blocked from the blast so most of the bottom part of their body is almost untouched but from the waist up… well, look, isn't there any kind of identifying mark you know of that we could use instead? There's no hope for fingerprints or…facial recognition." He paused at the look of nauseated horror that went across the agents' faces. "The only thing we have to go on right now is an old scar on the upper right thigh. Could be an old wound or a childhood injury – hard to tell with the, um, other burns." He tried to ignore the strangled noise the brunette agent made.

"Do you have an autopsy photo?" snapped the first agent. He noticed the second one still hadn't said anything, obviously having a harder time holding it together. He wondered if this one was a morgue virgin; the pallor and the sheen of perspiration suggested this was a first-timer.

"Uh, yes," he mumbled, reaching for the file folder on his desk. The second agent was watching him as if it was a snake he was about to pull out. The first one got impatient and held out a hand imperiously, snapping her fingers for him to hand it over, then taking a deep breath, allowed her gaze to drop and study the picture.

Almost immediately, her whole body sagged and then she looked back up at him, the relief evident on her face. "It's not him."

"It's not?" squeaked the second woman. "You're sure?"

Francine held the photo out towards her. "I'm certain, Amanda." In the instant after Amanda took it from her hands she regretted it, realizing that Amanda had probably never seen such a grisly photo before. She knew she'd done the right thing though when after an initial look of nausea, Amanda's face had cleared and the colour had returned.

Amanda closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get her pulse to stop racing. Back under control, she looked up at the ME and handed him back the picture. "She's right. That's not Lee Stetson."

"You're sure?" He couldn't understand how both of them were so positive.

"Yes, we're sure," snapped Francine. She turned to Amanda and went on, "So if he wasn't there, he's still out there somewhere. Come on."

The two women turned and walked out of his office. As he watched, the blonde dropped her arm across the shoulders of the one she'd called Amanda and gave her a quick squeeze before they disappeared out into the corridor.

"That was a quick visit. Did they identify our John Doe?" asked Nina, his technician as she entered from the far lab.

"No," he shook his head, tossing the photo on the desk. "From the situation where the body was found, we thought it might be an agent named Lee Stetson, but they're certain it isn't."

Nina raised her brows and picked up the photo. After a brief glance, she put it back down and glanced at him. "Well, I could have told you that."

"You could have told me what?"

"There's no way that's Lee."

"Who is Lee Stetson and why can everyone look at a burn victim for two seconds and know it isn't him?"

Nina grinned as she headed back to her lab. "I could find you half a dozen women in this building alone who could do the same." She paused in the doorway and shrugged at his puzzled expression. "Trust me, in this day and age, you don't run into that many men who aren't circumcised, so you remember them. Trust me, whoever that is on your table, it ain't Lee Stetson."

* * *

It was going on late afternoon by the time Francine brought Amanda back to Maplewood Drive. Billy had given her strict instructions not to let Amanda stay in the office after the morgue visit. Even though it hadn't been Lee who'd been caught up in the bomb blast, he knew the attempt to identify the body would have taken it out of her. First though, she had taken Amanda for a drink on the way home so she could get herself ready to face the family with no signs of the day's trauma. All they knew was that Lee and Efraim had dropped off all the surveillance equipment and then left for the day. Billy's first call had been to Efraim who confirmed he'd dropped Lee at home and then headed off – he hadn't heard any kind of blast or seen anything out of the ordinary.

The two women sat for over an hour in the Irish bar in Georgetown going over every case they could think of where the suspect might not still be behind bars or who used explosives as a weapon but it was driving them both crazy that Billy had barred them from helping until they'd both gotten some rest. One look at the pair of them after they'd come back with the news that it wasn't Lee had been all he'd needed to send Amanda home with a whispered instruction to Francine to stay with her. Francine didn't realize that he was as worried about her as he was about Amanda and thought they'd be better off with each other to lean on until they figured out what was going on but she was happy enough to stay with her – she really couldn't face going back to her apartment alone anyway.

They pulled into the driveway and sat a moment, girding themselves to pretend nothing was wrong if anyone was home. No one was supposed to be, but really at this point Amanda wouldn't have been surprised to find the whole damn KGB in her living room – she would have welcomed them actually if there was a chance they knew where her husband was.

They got out and walked into the house, both of them emotionally and physically exhausted. They were so tired in fact that it took them several seconds to understand what they were seeing when they walked in the kitchen. Lee was leaning against the counter, coffee cup in one hand, newspaper in the other. A half-eaten sandwich was on the counter and his damp hair suggested he'd been there a while – long enough to shower as well as raid the fridge. He looked up as they walked in, greeting them with a lazy grin. "Wow, you guys took forever. Where on earth have you been?" His voice trailed off as he took in their expressions. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

Amanda didn't answer him, she just walked into the circle of his arms and started to weep. He wrapped his arms around her and looked questioningly at Francine. For a moment it didn't look like she was going to answer him either but she finally managed to grind out "Where did you go after Efraim dropped you off?"

Lee looked confused. "Nowhere. I told you at the hotel I was going to get him to drop me at home. I've been here the whole time. What's going on?"

Francine had dropped into one of the chairs in the breakfast area and was now holding her head in her hands. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to grab him by his little skinny tie and then I'm going to stick his stupid little glasses down his stupid throat and then I am going to stab him and shoot him until he is dead and then I am going to stab him and shoot him again. Why didn't he tell us exactly where he'd dropped you?"

Amanda was now half-laughing, half-crying and had stepped back to swat him ineffectually on the chest. "You were here the whole time. You said you were going to be at home. I can't believe you meant you were going to be at _home_."

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Lee was getting seriously freaked out by the two women in front of him. "Where have you been all day?"

"The morgue, for starters," snapped Francine.

"The morgue?" Lee began to get an inkling of what was going on. "Did you think I was in the morgue? Why would you think that?"

There was silence as Francine and Amanda exchanged looks, neither of them sure where to begin. Finally Amanda turned back to Lee, laid both hands flat against his chest just to make sure he was really there and then started quietly, "Sweetheart, you know how you once told me you don't love a car?"


	5. Turning the Air Blue

Lee and Amanda stood in the apartment surveying the damage from the bomb blast on the street outside. The skeletal remains of the Corvette had been removed by the time they got there, leaving nothing but the melted pavement and scorch marks to mark where it had been. There was visible damage to the trees nearby and the boarded up windows where the blast had shattered them in nearby buildings but it was Lee's apartment that had taken the brunt of it, since the car had been parked directly outside.

He might not have seen the remains of his beloved car, but his expression was pained as he looked out at the street through the giant hole in the outside wall, past the scorch marks reaching up to the ceiling and the puddles of water where the fireman had had to douse the flames. He was lucky that there hadn't been too much damage to the rest of the apartment past the living room, but there was no question of him being able to stay there with most of the wall missing.

"It could have been worse, I suppose," he sighed.

"Yeah, you could have been here," answered Amanda, still shaken by the earlier events of the day.

Lee moved quickly across the room to take her in his arms. "But I wasn't." He continued to hold her as he looked around. "Billy's arranging for guards to keep an eye on the place, but I guess I'm homeless for a while."

Amanda gave a snort of disbelief. "You're not homeless – you're coming home with me where you belong. Don't look at me like that," she went on, meeting his startled look. "You said it yourself, you went home today – that's why you weren't here."

"Amanda, I can't just move in! What would your mother say? What would the boys says?"

"Well, none of them are going to question that you belong there if we start with the fact that your apartment almost burnt down. So we start with that and then we figure out how to tell them the rest."

"The rest?"

"Yes, the rest. This has been going on long enough – it was a dumb idea and we need to come clean. When I couldn't find you today-." She stopped and leaned into his chest, determined she wasn't going to cry again.

He tightened his arms around her and murmured, "Don't you think today proves how dangerous it could be for me to be anywhere near our family?"

She leaned back to look "No, I think it proves we need to circle the wagons and we can't do that living fifteen miles apart. Tomorrow we talk to Billy about what's in place to protect Agency families, but now let's go pack your bags and get out of this dump."

He recognized the light in her eyes and knew he was beaten. "Yes, Dear," he said meekly. "But I'm not looking forward to this. Living through Sockgate was bad enough – this is going to be a nightmare."

His heart lightened a bit at the sound of the gurgling laugh he'd provoked.

* * *

"Oh good, Mother, I'm glad you're home. We need to talk. There's been a fire at Lee's apartment and he needs somewhere to stay so I thought…"

Amanda walked into the kitchen, Lee close behind but paused when she realized Curt was also sitting at the table in the breakfast nook. "Oh! I didn't realize you weren't alone." She turned to look at Lee, wondering what they should do now. He shrugged slightly. She could tell what he was thinking: _It affects him too_. She nodded and turned back to Dotty who had started to get up at Amanda's words but had now sunk back into her chair.

"A fire? Oh Lee, that's awful, but of course you're going to come here- you're family."

That seemed like such an obvious opening but Amanda continued to stand there, wringing her hands. It had seemed so straightforward back in Lee's apartment but now faced with it, she had no idea where to begin.

"Amanda, Darling, you look as jumpy as a cat on hot pavement. What's the matter?"

Amanda continued to stand there, mentally starting and then discarding any number of opening sentences.

"Amanda?" said her mother again. There was another long pause and finally Dotty said, "Well, let's make this easier. Would you rather start with the truth about your job or the truth about your marriage?"

Amanda's jaw dropped, unable to contain her shock. She turned to look at Lee who was looking equally stunned. They turned to look at Dotty who had allowed herself a small smile at their reaction.

"Well, darlings, I'll take that silence as admission of guilt. How about you finally tell me the whole story yourselves?"

"How?" Amanda finally managed to say. "How long?" She looked from her mother to Curt who was also sporting a grin. "I don't understand."

Curt stood up and fished his wallet out of his back pocket. "Well, for starters, this might help." He pulled something out and held it out. Amanda was still too shocked to move so it was left to Lee to step past her and take it from Curt's hand. He glanced down and Amanda watched his face go completely still. He dropped into an empty chair at the table as if he could no longer stay standing and then he said a single word that made Amanda very glad the boys weren't home to hear him even as she tried to contain the bubble of hysterical laughter it provoked.

"One note, Lee? How bad could it be?"

He looked up at her and held out the card wordlessly. She took it from his hand, read it twice and then slumped into a chair beside him. She stared down at the card with that familiar code, "Foxtrot-Blue" for Friend, and the even more familiar handwriting written above the name. She looked across the table at Curt and said quietly, "You're Agency? You've known the whole time?"

"Oh, no, I really didn't, not at first. And I'm not Agency - I'm just family."

Lee and Amanda exchanged glances at that code phrase. "And just how long have you known Harry Thornton?" asked Lee finally.

"I met Harry back in in '51 when I was flying military contractors in and out of Korea and then I was a family member of his for twenty years before I retired to a quieter life in flight instruction."

"So you'd left before he recruited me?"

"Yes. I had no idea who you were before last January."

"No idea? You expect us to believe it was just coincidence that you started dating my mother and you didn't know anything about either of us?" Amanda couldn't hide the disbelief in her voice.

Curt shrugged. "I know it's hard to believe but it's true. I honestly just met Dotty through the seniors group and we hit it off. It really wasn't until we'd been dating a few months that she began to confide in me about things that were worrying her about the two of you."

"Like what?" asked Lee

"Like why a film producer carries a gun in a shoulder holster, for starters," replied Dotty dryly.

"And when she started to tell me stories about some of the things that happened before we met, like your run-in with government agents and national secrets, well, of course I went to Harry to get him to dig around for me. It's hard to say which of us was more surprised – Harry, when I asked him about you or me when he told me who you were."

"And so you told my mother everything but didn't come to us?"

Curt looked a little guilty at that. "Well, I didn't tell her anything at first. I didn't even tell her I'd looked into it, but then after California…"

"He had to then," explained Dotty. "It was obvious you'd gotten married when I got there when the doctors kept talking about your wife, and with so much going on, I wasn't going to confront you about eloping, but I couldn't understand why you were keeping it a secret once you were home again. So last May, Curt took me to meet Harry."

"You've met Harry?" Amanda couldn't keep the squeak out of her voice.

Dotty's eyes twinkled as she picked up Curt's hand between hers. "Good thing I met Curt first. Harry would have given him a run for his money. _Such_ a handsome man!"

Lee couldn't contain his laughter anymore. "Christina might have had something to say about that."

Dotty gave him a smile. "Well, that's what helped him explain to me about why all the secrecy. And at least I understood it a bit better even if I'm still hurt you didn't confide in me."

At the stricken expression on Amanda's face, Lee took her hand in his. "That's my fault – actually it's all my fault. No, it is," he said forestalling Amanda who was obviously about to speak up in his defence. "You wouldn't have ever started with any of this if I hadn't gotten you involved and sworn you to secrecy." He turned to face his mother-in-law. "She's hated not telling you, but it was just too dangerous to have too many people in the know, and the boys were so young."

"They're still young, Lee," replied Dotty.

"Yes, they are," he agreed. "Which is why, for now, I think we still don't tell them about what we do, or at least only as much as they need to know to stay safe. After all, the only time they've actually been a target was during that stuff with Joe, and with the Agency behind us properly now…" He trailed off as Dotty held up a hand.

"Wait a minute. Does Joe know?"

"He doesn't know we're married but he does know what we do. Lee was the agent assigned to his case and it was obvious even to Joe that we worked together, so we had to tell him that part."

"Worked together," repeated Dotty. "He thought you just worked together? Honestly, how stupid is he?"

"Well, at the time, we did only work together, Mother. We weren't in love then."

"I was," interjected Lee unexpectedly.

Completely distracted by this, Amanda turned in her chair to look at him. "You were not!"

"Yes I was. I just didn't say anything because I thought when Joe came back… Anyway, yes I was."

Amanda laced her fingers through his and gave him a soft smile. "Then you're more of an idiot than Joe."

"Only about important things – that's why I need you around." He smiled back at her until their attention was drawn back by Dotty's sarcastic tones.

"If you two are almost done, would you like to explain why you're finally telling me now?"

"Well, Mother, the part about the fire is true – Lee needs somewhere to live and since our boss just found out we're married-"

"Mr. Melrose didn't know you were married either?" Dotty's eyebrows were almost up into her hairline with surprise.

"No, he only just found out about that." Amanda answered. "Wait – you know Billy is our boss? Of course you do," she sighed as Dotty rolled her eyes. "Well, he found out by accident and after today, well I can't do this anymore. The boys won't be that surprised – they must be wondering how much longer we were going to be 'dating' anyway. I mean even Joe and Carrie got married faster than we did to the outside eye."

"Are you going to tell them you've been married all this time? They won't understand that, Amanda."

Amanda stared at her mother, realizing she was right. "Well, we can't get married again – I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

"So what are you going to tell them then?"

"Why don't you just renew your vows?" asked Curt. "They're young enough to not know the difference between a ceremony and a renewal. I have a friend who's a judge – I could ask him if he'd do it. Then you just tell the boys you're doing it quickly because Lee needs somewhere to live – which is true."

Amanda bit her lip, considering that idea. She turned her head to find Lee observing her, slight smile on his lips. "Third time lucky?" he asked quietly.

She couldn't hold back the snort of laughter and felt her heart lighten at the way his face lit up with an answering smile.

"Third time lucky," she answered. She leaned in to rest her hand against Lee's dimples and started to laugh. "So after all that, it turns out the worst part of this isn't even going to be one I thought was in the top three."

"Really?" Lee answered. "So what's the worst part going to be then?"

She leaned back and looked up at him with twinkling eyes. "Telling Phillip about the Corvette, of course."


End file.
